MAMACADABRA

And…it’s been a week.  Phew!

I started this blog a week ago with no expectations.  I just had a hope that it would hold me accountable to doing things to improve my life.  For example, I did NOT expect so many people to read it.  And I did NOT expect people (strangers even!) to be so kind and supportive.  And I did NOT expect to enjoy writing it so much.  But all of this has in fact happened.  What a lovely surprise!

I’ve been thinking over the past few days that writing “what ifs” is fine and dandy but really what good is it if I never update you (and myself) on my progress and/or miserable failures?  Not much accountability if I just put it out there and never come back to it.  So I’ve decided to write weekly updates on the status of my “what ifs.”  If for nothing else than to remind MYSELF of what I’m trying to do here.  It can’t all be for naught.

So here we go:

Day One: What if I wrote a blog about The Year of What If?
I’ll be honest, the first couple days I was pretty sure I was going to fail at this, and I got really nervous about what would happen if I couldn’t write until the next morning.  And guess what…nothing happened.  I’ve loved the opportunity to write every day and it’s been a joy to hear your comments both publicly here and in emails.  Thank you for being engaged and responding so kindly to what I’ve been writing.

Day Two:  What if I stop talking about things that are clearly in my control and just do it?
Well, okay, so I’ve done some of this.  And just having it out there makes me feel more empowered to shut the hell up and just do things instead of laboring over them.  Now, this will sound ridiculous, but sometimes I talk about doing/folding laundry for DAYS or until someone is literally out of underwear or socks before I actually just bite the bullet and do it.  Small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, yes, but it’s still just TALKING and not DOING.  I have worked really hard to stop the talking and I can’t tell you how good it feels.  I know I’ve referenced feeling overwhelmed with all that needs to get done in a family these days.  It’s amazing how much LESS overwhelmed I feel when I stop thinking about it, stop talking about it, and just do it.  Who’d a thunk?!

That said…the whole 20 lbs deal…that’s going to take work.  I’m going to go ahead and commit to getting my a-s in gear with this one first thing in the morning.  I’m totally committed to doing all of this…but it’s a work in progress people…Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Day Three:  What if I make an effort to get out at least twice per month?  To a place where sweats are not allowed or are at least frowned upon.
Success!  I went out last Friday night and I now have plans to go out for my girlfriend Eh’s birthday on Saturday.  For the record she’ll be turning 36 SEVERAL weeks before I will.  Seriously though, I think this is a really important “what if” for me.  As I said, I am prone to staying in and pretending like the girls, or the puppy, or the husband, or the house NEED me there.  In sweats.  And possibly no make-up.  But going out and spending time with people that I adore make me a much better version of myself so I’m happy to report that I am doing well on this one.

Day Four:  What if I stopped forgetting that THE SECRET actually works and what if I remember how to dream really.  REALLY.  BIG?
This one is also really important for me.  And I am trying to get back in the swing of THE SECRET.  It’s a mindset that is easy to slip out of.  I am working hard at this one and will likely be updating on this for a long time.  Until it’s second nature.

Day Five:  What if I TELL THEM when I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have them?
I am happy to say I have notecards out to about half of my girlfriends and I’ve spent some quality time at Papyrus so the rest will go out shortly.  If this week has done anything it has reinforced how phenomenal my girlfriends are and how truly inspiring and supportive they are.  Oooofff…I’m getting verklempt…

Day Six:  What if I decide to make the world a little more magical for the people in my life?
This one…I mean I was there when I wrote it obviously…but it’s become more and more important to me as the days have passed.  It’s on my brain constantly.  And I don’t know why I never put thought into it before?  It’s on my agenda now…bringing the magic!!!

Day Seven:  What if I have the chutzpah to keep writing even when it’s scary?  What if I have the chutzpah to take-on all the scary things head on?
I wrote this post yesterday because I had planned to post “No. More. Mr. Mean. Guy.” and got really nervous about it.  It doesn’t exactly make me sound like someone you’d want to hang out with.  In fact, it kind of makes me sound like an a-shole.  After posting yesterday I got a lot of encouragement to keep going which is why I decided to go ahead and post it today.  Not the most enjoyable or comfortable thing to put out there.  So I guess if the goal is to write what I’m feeling/thinking/doing and throw caution to the wind…I did that today.  Eeek!

It’s been a good week and I definitely feel like I’m living more deliberately.  More than that, you know how sometimes you just go through the motions?  That happens to me a lot.  I get bogged down and suddenly my life consists of waking up at 5am, leaving for work at 6:15, coming home at 4, dealing with everything you deal with before bed, and trying to get to bed by 10 or 11.  And so on…and so on…and so on…until you realize that weeks, or months, or years have passed and you wonder what you have to show for it.  Other than the deepening wrinkle between your (my) eyebrows.  This past week I’ve felt so much more engaged because I’m paying attention to things that maybe needed some attention.

So I guess the verdict is that week one went pretty well and, if you’ll have me, I’ll continue to write “what if” every day in hopes that things will only get better and better.

This Week: What if I haven’t even scratched the surface???