It’s entirely possible that after reading today’s post you may conclude that I am bat sh-t crazy. I’ve mulled this over and have decided that a) there may be a small amount of truth to that, b) those of you who love me have to keep coming back to read more, and c) I just don’t give a damn. So there.
This morning I awoke to a beautiful winter wonderland. Snow and ice capped trees, gorgeous powder covering the ground, and a good amount of snow still falling. It was picturesque and lovely, but it didn’t get REALLY lovely until we received a text announcing that the little girls had a real live snow day.
I let the little girls sleep-in because they so rarely get to do so. When they finally got up (7am!) they ran around the house screaming, and singing, and jumping around with the puppy. It was a little magical…like we had a day to break rules, have fun, and be crazy. “Can I wear jammies today?” “YES!” “Can we go out to breakfast?” “YES!” “I can’t believe we don’t have school!” “YES!!!”
I promptly called my boss to let her know I’d be working from home and I was about to dry my hair…when…we lost power. First the lights dimmed, then went out, and then I heard the heat stop flowing out of the vents. Sh-t.
I texted our daycare provider who lives a few blocks away and asked if she had power. She responded that she did not AND that it wasn’t expected back on until noon. It was only 7:20am. Sh-t.
I told the little girls to get dressed and to brush teeth and we’d be on our way…
- Down to the garage we trudged until I realized the garage door won’t open without power.
- Into the garage I trudged to do it manually until I realized there are no lights in the garage.
- Into the garage with flashlights I trudged and started pulling the rope that should trip it into manual mode and nothing happened.
- Into the house I trudged to call my husband who’d left for work at 5:30 to ask how to do it again?
- Into the garage with flashlights I again trudged to try to open it without the rope and it worked.
- Into the winter storm we forged until we got stuck in the driveway.
You get the idea. We got stuck in the driveway, we got stuck in the street, we would have gotten stuck in the restaurant parking lot had I not quickly avoided the entrance and decided to go to another one down the road, we sat through four busy intersections with flashing traffic lights, and we FINALLY got to a restaurant whose lot we’d be able to actually enter, park, and exit without getting stuck. Success!!!
I had to get some work done this morning so while the little girls ate I pulled out my laptop. I checked-in with daycare, where the girls were dying to go (nothing like playing with a neighborhood full of kids when there is this much snow and school’s closed!) and the power was still out but the kids were sledding. Perfect.
We finished our breakfasts, I finished up my work, and off we went into the chaos again. When we reached our neighborhood, they still hadn’t plowed, and I was not only unable to get into the cul-de-sac to daycare, but I couldn’t stop without getting stuck.
I had to wind around the neighborhood to turn around and come back and the girls had to jump out as I slowed to a roll and run up the cul-de-sac to daycare. Okay, okay, before anyone goes postal on my a-s, no I did not force my children out of the car while I was still driving. Sarcasm.
Because our neighborhood streets hadn’t been plowed there was no way for me to get into my driveway without getting stuck. I had an important conference call at 11am, and I didn’t want to be dealing with the chaos of a stuck car, trying to start the snow blower, and dealing with the puppy. I dropped the puppy at a local doggie daycare where he could run with other dogs for a couple hours, ran to Target and had my conference call in the parking lot, and then came home.
Forgetting that the power could still be out. Forgetting that if I get stuck my dog will in turn be stuck at doggie daycare. Forgetting all sorts of things but just wanting to be home so I can enjoy this f-cking snow day already!
I was stuck at home, with no power, and was left to wonder how this snow day for which I’d been so hopeful had turned into THIS.
So remember last week when we were talking about saying things out loud that we want to see happen? I even made up a hashtag (you realize I barely even know what that means) #sayingitoutloudmakesitso. Well let me tell you how that worked out for me. I sent a variety of emails to a variety of people proclaiming all sorts of little gems. My goal weight, the wrinkle between my brows disappearing, being happy and healthy, having 300+ views on this site per day, etc. I tend to talk to myself when I’m really busy/stressed. Well I found myself saying some of these things that I would love to see happen out loud. While driving I would say “I weigh 140 pounds, I have 300+ views per day, I can run without it hurting, blah, blah, blah.”
Then Saturday happened. I got my a-s handed to me in a comment on one of my posts and on that day I had 310 views. On Sunday I had 398 views. I’m sorry…WHAT?!
On Monday I went to work elated that this whole saying things out loud thing seems to WORK. I mean actually, for reals, it works! Within hours of my arrival my colleagues filed into the office, each more surly than the one before them. I was snapped at, and subsequently apologized to, for the second time in a week. I was forced to take a project over from someone who had not even started it. I was suddenly in “I hate everybody” mode.
Surprisingly my 300+ views? They went away. My will to workout and eat healthfully? Out the window. I was thrust into Marathon Monday that evening and just wanted to crawl into bed. As I did I held onto hope for one thing and one thing only. SNOW. DAY. ON. WEDNESDAY.
Yesterday I simply planned on it happening. I made sure my schedule for today was fluid. I knew…I KNEW…that it would be a snow day today. But it was the only thing I was actually focusing on. I wasn’t focusing on anything else good. I worked out last night and hated it. I felt like crap. I was tired. But God d-am it I was planning on this snow day.
And here we are today. The end of a snow day but a sh-tty one at that. Why? Because my head is out of sorts. I’m forgetting the important things on which I should be focusing. I had a few glorious days of proclaiming what I want, it happening exactly so, and then I let external influences shoot it all to hell.
Lesson learned universe. LESSON. LEARNED.
Thing is…saying things out loud is a powerful way for us to make our lives what we want them to be. And, if this weekend is proof of anything, it’s that this sh-t takes practice. In essence…we are our own Zoltar. Right? I mean if all of this holds true WE have the power to grant our own wishes and predict our futures like the old arcade game in “Big.” Right?
So…ahem…let me try this again. I am 140 lbs, I have a disappearing wrinkle between my brows, I am professionally fulfilled and love my job, I am injury free, I have 300+ views per day, and if a snow day happens to grace us with its presence again, it will be lovely and perfect.
TODAY: What if I remain focused and positive and let the rest of it go? What if I am my own Zoltar Speaks when I say out loud what I’d like to see in my world?
PS – What are the odds that #sayingitoutloudmakesitso will ever be “trending?” Hey…I’m saying out loud…a girl can dream!