MAMACADABRA

Question.  When an announcement is made that shortly we will be testing our fire alarm system, but there is no mention of needing to leave the building, why do I feel like a rebel for remaining in my office while this ear piercing alarm is going off?  Question two.  Seriously.  It f-cking works.  How long do we need to “test” said alarm?!  IT.  IS.  F-CKING.  WORKING!!!

Nothing says “welcome to work” like the LOUDEST FIRE ALARM in history blaring for nearly five whole minutes at 7:30am.  My ears are ringing like I just got home from a Metallica concert without the pleasure of…well…going to a Metallica concert.

Ever since I got out of college I’ve struggled to get past the schedule that is engrained in all of us from the time we enter kindergarten until we graduate from college.  I have a very difficult time getting over the fact that we don’t get time off for holidays, don’t get Spring Break, and don’t get summers off.  Okay, that’s not true, I don’t expect or even want summers off.  But the little girls have Spring Break this week and I so want to be on Spring Break too.  Please???

I did take two days off.  On Monday I took them to the mall.  I remember going to the mall with my mom when I was little and it was magical.  We used to shop around, stop for treats, have lunch, and just hang out amongst the bustle of shoppers and store clerks.  I did that with the little girls around Christmas and they loved it.  So we went on Monday, found new swimsuits, shoes for Easter, stopped for frozen yogurt, and searched high and low for bright green leggings. 

Side note…I am in DESPERATE need of bright green leggings for one of the little girls’ Easter outfits…if you see them anywhere please let me know.  I have been to nearly every store under the sun.  Suggestions appreciated!

Tomorrow we have more Spring Break fun planned.  Making today my Friday for this week.  But as I sit at my desk, and my ears ring from the fire alarm, I just.  Don’t.  Wanna.  Work that is.  I don’t want to work.  It’s Spring Break for Christ’s sake.

I should be golfing.  Or shopping.  Or sitting on a beach, drinking Corona, throwing my Blackberry in the ocean, in Mexico, 30 pounds lighter, in a cute swimsuit.  You know what?  I’d even settle for the beach, the Corona, AND my work laptop, in Mexico.  Or San Diego.  Or…to be honest…at Lake Harriet in Minneapolis.  I’m not picky. 

I decided to poll my girlfriends.  I don’t like to be crazy on my own.  I find it much more comforting if there are others feeling the same way I do.  These are the responses I received…

“If only I had a Jimmy Buffet CD to listen to!!!!”

Agreed.

“I’m with you!  I’ll take my shot in a margarita on the rocks no salt please!”

Done.

“Are you suggesting we all walk out on our jobs right now and head out for Spring Break…Mexico…I’m IN!!!!!”

Yes I am actually.  Yes.  I.  Am.

“Um I have two sick kids and I had to drive to LA to take a polygraph for work yesterday.  On said drive, after two Diet Cokes and a bottle of water, I had to go to the bathroom so bad but the next exit sign I saw was ‘Compton College, Compton, CA.’  Needless to say I waited.  Yes I think we should be on vacation.”

Okay.  That beats a fire alarm at 7:30am.  Hands down.

“YES!!!  You mean you didn’t have your tequila shot to start the day off right?  I’m so ready.  Pool, pool boys, swim up bar, drinking from a pineapple or from the pool boys’ cupped hands…how do we make this happen???”

There are no words.  Other than…I don’t know but please tell me if you figure it out.

Misery loves company.  But it also doesn’t get me out of work on a busy Thursday.  Son of a…

Fine.  I will gaze out the windows, dream of tequila shots (I don’t even LIKE tequila nor do I do shots…anymore), and sing 4 Non Blondes…the band that was big when I last went on a proper Spring Break.  In 1994.  Ugh. 

At least I’m not alone.

TODAY:  What if I relish my two days off this week and really make my little girls’ Spring Break magical?  Sans the booze, sun, beach, and 18 year-old body I still have in my dreams.  Whatever…nothing says Spring Break like Disney movies and lunch at McDonald’s.