MAMACADABRA

To say that remarkable things have fallen into place this week would be a remarkable understatement.  The moment I was able to admit that things just weren’t right or okay, I was able to take the necessary steps, and start to move on.  Start to live again.  Get back to feeling like me.

I’ve taken steps to cross things off of my list.  Not errands, or chores, or menial tasks.  Oh no my friends, I’m talking about life decisions, things that have been pushing and shoving to get proper attention in my head.  Adventures about which I was still thinking ‘what if’ regularly.  And suddenly, as they got checked off and released from the crowded mess that has been my head, I’ve been able focus on the things at hand that I truly WANT to do.  Things I WANT to pursue.

It’s like a brand new day.

On Monday morning I was asked if I wanted a different work space.  I didn’t feel strongly one way or another but I agreed.  My new office space is a little nook that has become my sanctuary.  I face a different direction, have a large window, the lighting in the wee hours of the morning is purple and my lamp offers a cozy glow, and I am far far away from any of the things that might make work challenging.  It is lovely.  Incredibly so.  What a difference a new perspective (even just facing a new direction) makes.

Monday night I had an idea.  It’s not a new idea, it’s one I had about nine months ago, but it resurfaced.  A business idea.  A genius business idea (if I do say so myself).  My mom and I have long talked about starting a business together.  My parents own a small business already so we’re constantly coming up with new ideas.  We’ve never found one that we both truly believe in.  One that we both know in our hearts will work.  That is…until now.  I can already see our office space, the org structure, how to reach our target audience (clients), and how fast this will grow.  But instead of talking about it with anyone who will listen (like I normally would), and instead of going on and on about how successful it will be (without doing a damn thing about it), and instead of waiting for my husband’s approval or excitement to magically appear (because let’s be clear…it won’t until it’s *real*), I am just doing.  I have one word in my mind right now and it’s “GO.”  I’m doing research, I’m putting together a plan, I am taking the steps to make this a reality because friends?  I can see the future for this business and it.  Is.  Wicked.  Awesome.

I chopped all of my hair off last week.  I cut it on a day that had been one of my worst.  As I sat waiting for my stylist to arrive my husband asked if I was sure now was the best time to make such a drastic change.  I was adamant but in my head I too was worried.  It was a drastic change and, to be honest, I was in a bad place.  I did it anyway and it is literally the best hair I’ve had in years.  YEARS.  I can’t tell you how many people have told me that it makes me look younger.  I mean…shut the front door!  Typically if I cut my hair short I immediately begin the long process of growing it back out.  I already have my next appointment on the books…I want it cut short for a while.  It feels new, and refreshing, and they say I look YOUNGER for the love of God!!!

Our house looks great, our girls have gotten used to our new school routine, we’re cooking with gas!  I’m able to look around and feel f-cking great about all of it.  Instead of looking around and seeing what isn’t done or what isn’t right.  And instead of being consumed with anger or sadness or disdain I am just in awe that we get to live this life and that I get to be a part of it.  And now it’s time to move forward and make some frigging magic happen.

It’s go time!

Today:  What if I continue to focus on one word?  GO!