MAMACADABRA

Do you know what I’m doing tomorrow night?

Because I know myself well…let me tell you how this is going to go down.  I’m going to have dinner with my girlfriends, enjoy some wine, head to the Beyonce concert, and approximately 34 seconds after she appears on-stage my mind will start spinning…

I want thighs like that.

I want arms like that.

I could have thighs like that.

I could have arms like that.

Why did I cut my hair???

So first, let me just say, this whole letting myself stop obsessing about every little thing in my life?  It has truly made everything so much more enjoyable.  I’m not saying that because I can go for ice cream with my family and don’t feel an enormous amount of guilt.  Sure that’s nice, but just being able to live without the constant pressure to be something different than what I currently am, has been an amazing and eye opening experience.  It’s been lovely.

That said…lately I’ve been jonesin’ to, I can’t believe I’m going to say this out loud, but I’ve been jonesin’ to run.  I know, what?!  Proof?  When I got home from work I made a new iTunes playlist…

And I’ve been thinking about registering for a ten mile race in October.  Because really…it’s just been too darn long since my running injuries have had the chance to flare up.

Another thing?  I’m so white it’s painful.  I stopped spray tanning earlier this year because, frankly, it’s such a royal pain in the ass.  You can’t shower for four hours after, but you can’t really exercise either because it gets drippy if you sweat too soon, so figuring out the perfect time to do it is next to impossible.  But I see myself in pictures and I nearly glow.  Not in an “oh she’s glowing!” kind of way.  In a “holy shit is that a ghost?!” kind of way.  Which…I’m not a fan of.

I think…deep breath…I’m ready to take some things on.  I miss being in great shape and I miss not being translucent.  The trick will be to get back on the bandwagon without making myself insane or…umm…insufferable for those around me.  One of the two.  And by making this proclamation before the concert, I’ll be able to actually enjoy myself, because my mind won’t be going 1,000 miles a minute.  Yes, yes, I want thighs like that…and thighs like that I will have…because I have already made a proclamation.

Or something like that.

TODAY:  What if it’s time to get back in the saddle?  And what if it’s time my husband stops having to wear sunglasses around me to fight the glare?

PS – It’s REALLY hot outside.  Sooo…I’ll be waiting to start running until Saturday.  Just sayin’.

PPS – Whenever I think about starting a running routine my mind always goes straight to MARATHON.  Now…I’ve told you of my marathon experience, no?  It was maybe one of the worst days of my life (no sarcasm…I swear…my friend Dee can attest to this).  But…but…maybe it would be better the second time?

PPPS – And this is when I need to stop thinking.  For real.