Earlier today I emailed my girlfriend Ess and explained that I’m trying to tackle this issue. There’s someone with whom I’ve struggled for years. As time passes, I think about them less and less, but from time to time I hear something about them and every time it just pisses me off. It doesn’t matter whether what I hear is good news or bad news for this particular person…it all just makes me mad. When it’s good, it irritates me to no end because I know the terrible things they’ve done and I feel like they should…I don’t know…have to make up for that somehow. When it’s bad, it irritates me to no end because…seriously…when are they going to figure it out?
I’m self aware enough to know that neither is a healthful reaction. Over the past few days, since I heard something that irritated me to no end, I’ve been recognizing how worthless this left over anger and irritation is. Will it change that person? Nope. Will it change me? Yes.
Forgiveness has such finality. When I think about forgiving, I think about the fact that there will be something else needing forgiveness next month, next year, and so on. How does one forgive when they know more is most certainly around the corner?
I’ve been mulling this over on and off for days.
This afternoon I made a decision to sponsor a child. He’s a five year old from Armenia. The little girls are going to be so excited when I tell them. This weekend we will have so much fun putting together a little package for him and mailing it off to Armenia. His little face and dark curls are so precious. I’ve already printed a picture to hang on our fridge at home so we can look at him all the time. I mean…just look at him…
All afternoon, between work projects and tasks, I’ve peaked back at his picture. I sent an introductory email from our family to which we won’t receive a response for 6-8 weeks. I can’t stop smiling, my heart is full, and I’ve remembered something. Something important. My favorite quote from Martin Luther King, Jr. is “darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Sometimes I forget this.
I have so much love in my life. Both coming my way from others and my heart bursts with the love I have for the people/dog/organizations that play a big role in my life. When I’m able to remember the love it’s so easy to let go of the animosity. It’s so easy to remember that it just doesn’t matter and that it’s not my battle.
As my family enjoys welcoming this little boy into our worlds over the next few days I am going to remember that love is the answer. It’s the answer to nearly all of the questions and it’s the answer nearly all of the time. And just like that? The issue I was trying to tackle? Consider it tackled!
TODAY: What if I need to remember just how important love is to everything?