MAMACADABRA

Starting a new year and a new decade brings about all sorts of opportunities to reflect and/or make declarations about what comes next. 2019 was a tricky one for us, in fact the past few years have been challenging. Not bad, per se, but not a walk in the park either. When I look at these past few years as part of the decade, though, it’s hard to hate on them. Because the decade was f-cking great.

In the past ten years we moved into a new house and neighborhood, our kids grew from teensy girls to young women who are fantastic humans, we celebrated ten years of marriage, we found the fifth member of our family, Sully, my husband and I both received masters degrees, I published my first book, my husband found his dream job, and great relationships with family and friends have only deepened into better ones.

Not that there weren’t struggles, obviously, but they were far outweighed by wonderful successes, joys, and people. So, you know, winning!

For me, though, I think it can get even better. Something that plagues me, and I know for certain I’m not the only one, is that I think of great ideas/projects/plans that I just don’t attack like I should. Whether it’s fear of failure, or feeling overwhelmed with everything already on my plate, I tend to talk the talk and then balk instead of walking the walk.

Rather than set New Year’s resolutions – we kind of gave up on that years ago – I’m looking at 2020 as the year I actually do all of the sh-t I talk about. I’m so good at coming up with a great idea, getting all the people around me really excited about it, and then letting it fizzle out because I’m scared or I get stuck with one aspect and can’t get past it in my brain. It feels like 2020 is the year that should probably stop.

I’ll be 44 years old in March (44 is the new 34, right?). I have a stupid amount of years left. I don’t want them to be more years inactivity. Now – I mean obviously there is activity. I’m a mom of high school athletes and wife to a wicked busy dude with my own job, friends, and life to attend to. But inactivity when it comes to my passions, my ideas, and my dreams is not going to be a thing anymore.

Part of that is the revival of this blog – which – yikes! I’m feeling rusty with the whole blog thing, and I can’t get my site to look how I want and that almost led me to throw up my hands because why publish a blog that doesn’t look the way I want it to, and probably I suck at writing now, and likely nobody will remember the old blog, or read the new blog, and also there is laundry to fold, and laundry to wash, and sheets to put on beds, and I should really walk the dog, and…

…you see what happens? I get scared, I get sidetracked, and I stop. Well not today my friends, not today. And hopefully not this year. Or this decade.

So here’s to a new year/decade and throwing self doubt and fear out the window!