You know when you decide to do something and you know in your heart of hearts it’s a bad idea? Not only a bad idea, but likely a really bad idea? When I was ten I was invited to a birthday party for one of my girlfriends. Her birthday party was an all weekend affair … More A. Really. Bad. Idea.
Warning…I’ve sprayed a LOT of carpet cleaner in the past few minutes (dirty dog+light carpet=bad idea) which has resulted in my eyes simultaneously spewing water and feeling like they are on fire AND it’s possible that I’m high on fumes. That said…I may be a rambling idiot right now. Read at your own risk. When … More I’m. Going. To. Disneyland.
You know what I’m really good at? I’m really good at scrambling and making things right, if not amazing, AFTER they have been screwed up. No, seriously it’s a skill. I swear it is. I can do a remarkable job of turning things around both when I’ve had nothing to do with the actual f-cking … More I. Can. Fix. This.
Last night I finished writing my post, read it a few times to clean-up any misspellings and/or grammar errors, shut my laptop gingerly, and went upstairs ready to be a new woman. My husband and I so rarely have the opportunity to indulge in more than a few minutes in front of the TV that … More I’m. Still. Me.
Question. When an announcement is made that shortly we will be testing our fire alarm system, but there is no mention of needing to leave the building, why do I feel like a rebel for remaining in my office while this ear piercing alarm is going off? Question two. Seriously. It f-cking works. How long … More Spring. Break. Circa. 2012.
Sometimes when I’ve had a bad day, or a bad couple days, I like to revel in my disdain for everything and everyone. Just for a little bit. My sarcasm is a bit more “on,” I’m funnier and funnier, and soon enough my disdain turns into general feistiness. Then I remember exactly who I am … More Pretty. Big. Deals.
If I had my way Rage Against the Machine would have been playing everywhere today. Simply to illustrate my mood. I want to punch people in the throat. Seriously. The a-shole who hacked my personal email account? The one who sent emails to almost every single person in my contact list? Including former work acquaintances? Big wigs? … More Fist. Meet. Throats.
A couple weeks ago I had a chiro appointment. It’s like the only opportunity I have to actually look at magazines these days. Me. The girl who used to get People, Elle, and The New Yorker in the mail and read them each from cover to cover religiously. I have no time for magazines anymore. … More Jealous. Much.
So there’s drama today. All sorts of it. In times of crisis I feel like there are three types of people. A for one, the person who turns catatonic and can’t do anything. B for two, the person (like me) who switches into “fixer” mode, and starts to figure out exactly what needs to be … More Dramz.
First, let me tell you how I started my birthday. Driving to work, playing my 80s Rock playlist a little too loud, I realized that I have been singing the chorus to a White Snake song incorrectly. Since the beginning of time. What?! I had been singing “here I go again on my own, going … More 36. Is. The. New. 25.
MAMACADABRA 