Showing Up Like

Okay, so bear with me here because I know next to nothing of the NFL.  Aside from what everyone knows, and what I learned (and assume to be 100% accurate) from the show Ballers.  We all know the Patriots are ridiculous like the Yankees are ridiculous, right?  In the sense that it is f-cking ridiculous for one team to win all the time.  I mean come the f-ck on.  So when Tom Brady went to Tampa Bay, I was genuinely curious to see how that would pan out.  On one hand (please keep in mind that I legit warned you just a few sentences back that I do not know what I’m talking about), maybe Tom Brady would make them a better team.  On the other, how in the world could he recreate that kind of magic with an entirely new organization and team.  I mean it didn’t seem likely to me (who, again, knows nothing).

When I heard that the Buccaneers are going to the Super Bowl, I was surprised, and super intrigued.  Like, seriously, this one guy has that much effect on everything around him?  How is that even possible?!  I spent a couple of days thinking about this – flummoxed.

Then I heard something (I told you last week I had three blog posts in the pipeline based on the one talk I heard Orlando Bowen give!) that changed my mind.  He said something like the way we choose to show up can change a situation and/or the people around us. 

Noodle on that for a second, will you?

I know you have known someone who, no matter the group of people, no matter the situation, no matter the environment, always brings the drama.  Just pure unadulterated drama.  Doesn’t have to be bad drama per se, but you know that guy – or girl.  Right?  Or the person who shows up and brings everyone down with story after story of woe and despair.  So, is Tom Brady the guy that shows up and makes everyone around him far better?  Turns everyone into a magical player?  Brings dedication, hard work, and excellence to the table and everyone else just picks it up too?  Is he THAT guy?

Obviously, I’ve talked about what we put out in the Universe coming right back to us in some shape or form.  But something I haven’t put tons of thought into is how I show up in the world for my family and friends and what that does for them.  I’d like to believe that I bring a sense of calm, confidence, and certainty – I have no idea if that’s true.  And surely, that doesn’t happen every single place I go, or with every single group I join, or in every single environment I find myself in.  But what if it did?

I can be excitable.  When I get going on an idea, I get excited, I’m enthusiastic, and I want the people around me to be excited too.  I can get mad.  When I see injustice I get angry, and really disappointed, and I want those around me to share that frutsration.  I can get down.  When I’ve spent ten months in my house, and I got really fit and then got really unfit I get so mad at myself, and ashamed, and I want to lament with my girlfriends who have also ridden the pandemic fitness rollercoaster.  And then I can be cocky and confident, and I want the people around me to be similarly confident, so we can rule the world together.

In all of these instances, however, what I want from other people is reinforcement that what I’m feeling is okay.  Which is fiiiinnnnnnneeeee, sure.  But I’m not giving them anything in return, really.  I’m not being a Tom Brady of anything.

But I kind of want to be a Tom Brady to those around me (please know, dear reader, that I do not mean I want anything to do with Mr. Brady’s politics thank you very much).  I’d love to be someone who makes those around me better, makes them strive to work towards their dreams, brings calm, confidence, and certainty to situations and those around me.

That doesn’t just happen by showing up to a party and exemplifying those traits.  It also has to happen in how I show up in the world at large.  Meaning, if I want my people to go after their dreams – I in turn have to go after my dreams.  If I want them to shoot for the stars – I’ve gotta shoot for the stars.  If I want them to be calm, certain, and confident…you get the idea.

It comes from how I show up in meetings, how I show up in my Teams messages at work, how I show up with clients, how I show up with my family, how I show up for my friends, how I show up with people I don’t particularly like, and how I show up here.  I have to pour my love, my dreams, and my feelings of calm into everything I do.  And maybe with practice, I can start to change situations and those around me in a transformative way – like Tom Brady (sans politics).

And to be clear, showing up in these ways doesn’t mean I won’t still sometimes be excitable.  Anyone who knows me well also knows this will never not be a thing. But if I change my focus to making those around me better, bringing the really good stuff to the table in hopes that others will pick them up, I think really amazing things could happen.

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